Be Careful and Sure

To us single folks out there, be careful and sure before you leap into that new relationship. I know how it feels to be lonely. If you have children, it's you and the kids at the movies, you and the kids at the mall, you and the kids at the festival, it's you and the kids having dinner and when the kids are hanging out with their friends, it's just YOU! Be there, done that and to some degree, still doing it. Yeah, I've had a relationship or two after my divorce. But I should have inspected what I expected a lot more. Sometimes we get caught up in the moment of having someone around even if he or she is only around for a fraction of the time. Now let's keep it real now, because I am no body's fool.

When you begin a new relationship, take it slow; notice the behavior patterns-you know the ones that you don't like; have dinner or eat together with the person as much as you and let him or her do a lot of the talking -you need to listen because when we eat we let our guards down and the real person will surface - that is if you are smart enough to catch it; pay close attention to those missed dates, times, and visits; is there a pattern; most people repeat patterns - so be fully aware of those patterns and what they (the patterns) are saying to you. If you have to, keep a journal about certain events and situations, review them and you will be able to see (crystal clear) where the other person is coming from. Once you have done all of this, be careful and sure to proceed if what you see is NOT what you want.

If what you see is not what you want - drop the relationship immediately. People generally don't change their behavior -so don't waste your time thinking that he or she will - particularly if they don't see anything wrong and when people have a lot of "game" in them, they don't see it as their problem, but yours. So Stop, Drop and Roll with another adventure.