Take Your Time - Take It Slow - Make It Count

Take Your Time- Take It Slow - Make It Count was a high school cheer that our cheerleaders shout when we were at the free throw line. As I thought about the words - the same can be said for relationships. When embarking upon a new relationship, you need to "Take Your Time - Take It Slow and Make It Count". Let's think about "Take Your Time" for a minute. What's the rush? You've been by yourself for a period of time - you should be use to it - so what's the rush? Take your time to get to know the other person. Before you start spilling your guts out or sharing your business, Take Your Time! Take Your Time in all areas - meeting your family, children, friends, sharing personal information and definitely intimacy.

"Take It Slow" meant, in terms of basketball, to take a deep breath, take a good look at the basket, to make sure your feet was not on the line, to concentrate and to execute a good fundamental free throw. Take It Slow in a relationship pretty much means the same thing, to take a good look at the person; to inspect and investigate with the right probing questions; make sure that the boundaries are set and that the other person is willing and capable of keeping those boundaries and have a fundamental sound course of action in the first stages of courtship.

The "Make It Count" part of the cheer in basketball means to make the basket and score. In a relationship' Make It Count" means that if you do all you can by taking your time and taking it slow, then those things done and this type of action will give you a better result when you decide that the person is right or not right for you. So to the ladies and gents out there who are embarking upon a New Interest - TAKE YOUR TIME, TAKE IT SLOW AND MAKE IT COUNT

Open Your Heart

You've been talking to him for over three months now. He's committed himself to you and have used the "L" word on several occasions. He is sincere, honest and ensures that he communicates with you no matter what. He's asked you if you feel anything. He wants to know if he is the one that can erase the pain and fill you with joy. He said to you to call him anytime you want to talk, have a need or want something. Just call him first to give him the first opportunity to respond to you before you call another. He consults with you before he makes plans for the weekend or plans to do something without you. He loves to hold you close, hold your hand and touch you ever so lovingly tender. He said that he wants to be your man and your everything. Need the man say more? What else must he say or do to convince you that he's your man? Come on ladies - what are you waiting for? Open up your heart and love the man. Let the past relationships ghosts go. This is your Stop- Drop and Roll to another relationship opportunity - DON'T MISS OUT- OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND LOVE THE MAN!

KIck The Memories Out

We've got enough bad memories of our ex's. We can recall what they did, who they did it with, how they treated us as they did what they did; when they did it and/or how many times they did it. From time to time we, and sometimes, more than we should, we wonder "why they did it" or "why didn't they just tell me", or some other why, how come or why me - as if we are going to miraculous come to a real reason. Come on who are we kidding? Why do we put ourselves through this? We know that we can't explain human behavior, all we can do is accept it and understand what it means to us. For example, if the man or woman is sleeping around with others, the obvious is that he or she doesn't care about you the way you care about him or her. Accept the behavior and move on.

Kick the memories out of your head. They serve no purpose but to taunt you or to hold you captive to the point that you can't release you love for another. Kick the memories out of your head. Kick the memories out of your heart. Let go and let go. Right now declare " That you are free from ill memories of a past love" and every time those memories creep back up ( and they will) immediately, kick them out by thinking of the other person in your life and how much he or she loves you.

Stop The Madness

You found him in the bed with another woman. He's got a baby on the way. You found out that he is living with another woman. He said they were through - but you know better. He took someone else out of town. She drives his car. You went to his house and he wouldn't let you in. You saw the two of them out on the town. She keeps calling your house and hanging up the phone. Stop the damn madness. Is the question why do men do us like this? Or is it, WHY DO WE LET HIM TREAT US LIKE THIS? WHY DO WE HOLD ON TO HIM WHEN WE KNOW THAT HE DOESN'T WANT US? WHY DO SUFFER OVER AND OVER WITH THE SAME "BS"? WHY DON'T WE KICK IS "A" OUT OF OUR LIVES? Is it because we love him? Is it because the sex is so so good? Is it because we don't want to be alone, although we really are?

Whatever it is, ladies we got to cut the bull out, call it like is and move the hell on. You deserve better. I deserve better. We deserve better. But better can't come to us if we keep on holding on to nothing. Stop being a door mat. Stop making excuses for his sorry "A". Stop believing those pack of lies that he muster up when he is caught in his game. Love yourself ladies. Love yourself to the point where you have no more patience or tolerance of the madness. GET MAD AND JUST STOP THE DAMN MADNESS FROM YOUR LIFE AND YOUR HAPPINESS.

Don' Be STUCK ON STUPID

Ladies there comes a time in our lives when you got to stop being STUCK ON STUPID. OK you fell in love and it was rosey and sweet at first. He called you often. Every weekend you had plans and things to do together. He took your out, visited you three times a more a week, introduced you to some of his friends and bought you a couple of middle price goods every now and then. You guys were going at it for awhile - then IT happened. His calls became maybe one or two a week. You saw very little of him. You can't reach him like you use to and he always has to get back with you about the weekend. If he dropped by, it was on a Sunday to see what you cooked or just to say HI!

Ladies, let us not be STUCK ON STUPID. You've got to face the facts even though they are painful - you don't have a man. You fear being alone although you are alone in an alone relationship. Hey ladies tell the no good for nothing ___________(you fill in the blank) to get the ____________ (you fill in the blank) out of your life. The quicker you do this - the less Stupid you will feel in the future and yourself will love you for it later.

Don't Be Afraid to Love Again

Most of us have been hurt at least one time in our relationships. We gave our all. We trusted wholeheartedly. We believe and cared so much. Some of us may have spent years in a relationship waiting for him or her to do the right thing; ask us to marry; or to just return some of the love that we so freely gave. When our hearts were broken - we were crushed and bruised. We cried - our eyes turned read and puffy - we didn't smile - and some of us may have experienced depression. Now that years have past, we guard our hearts. We love, but not like we did before. Is this fair to the other person who wants to love you the way you loved someone else? What if you met your "soul mate" without a doubt, what are you going to do? Do you withhold that deep love that's inside of you or do you muster up enough passion and let it out? I don't know about you, but I liked being in love and when and if or if and when I meet my "soul mate" or new love, I'm going to love again without fear. If we learn to listen to what people are saying to us and line up what is said with actions, we would know if the person is real or not. I've said in other blogs to "inspect what you expect" and this is no small task. If you want to know if he or she is the one, monitor their actions and monitor their words. Don't be afraid to love - just learn to love more carefully the next time.