Let me rub your back baby

When your man comes home and the kids are all tucked away, treat your man to some tender loving care. Take a warm shower, gel down with some creamy and moist body lotion, you know that special expensive kind. After you are done, run the shower for him. Grab that big new bath towel and as he get out of the shower, dry off every inch of him. Lie him down on those 500 plus thread count sheets, oooo so soft and silky, pour some massage lotion in your hands and gently rub your man down. Start with his feet, his legs, his back, his butt, turn him over and begin to circular massage the lotion on his chest, those masculine arms, his strong hands and his groin. Every now and then give him a gentle kiss on his temple, forehead, nose, eyes; close your eyes and just smell the man. Turn down the lights, slip under the cover and feel his body- oh what a good night it is going to be!

Don't sugar foot the truth

There comes a time in a person's life when you just got to cut through the chase and call it like you see. We sugar foot too much around some issues. Keeping it real - sometimes you just got to tell the damn truth about a matter. Let's say you saw your girl's man with another woman, not just one time, but repeatedly. What you gonna do girl? Are you going to fill her in on what's going on or are you going to just sit back let the S happen? I know, it's not your business, but if you're my girl, I want you to tell me. So what if she gets angry, it's OK. She supposed to get angry. What the H! - I wished my college roommate had told me about my man back in the day. Anyway, if you got a friend who is blindly in love with the wrong guy, help a sista out. Don't let her become a statistic - he may be practicing unsafe sex or something - pull your girl to the side, take her out to lunch and kinda drop enough on her so she could read through the lines - in today's world - she deserves to know.

Is He Right For Me?

How many times have we agonized in bed, while driving, at the salon, or just talking with our girls, is he right for me? We rehearse in our minds the what ifs. We talk to ourselves, and sometimes out loud, why, why not and how come. We replay the events to validate he's right for me. We try to find the missing elements to connect to -he is right for me, only to find that there is no connection. We desperately justify in our minds why we are still attached to a man that isn't right for you, me or us. We provide excuses and ignore truths. We make believe and wish it were true. We find ourselves hoping against hope for someone who just isn't right for us. We cry and hurt because we refused to accept the truth. We tell ourselves that it is going to get better only to be faced with yet again - He is not the one. We dread closing the door, but eventually we will muster enough courage to bow out - to leave and let go.

When he said....

When he said that he would never see her (the other woman) again, you thought it was over. When he said that he and her (the other woman) are just friends, you didn't understand. When he said that he want to be with you and start things over, you gave him another chance. When he said she (the other woman) needs his help, you wondered why is he contemplating, If He Loved You!

When he made the decision to extend his helping hand to the other woman, you saw that his words were words only to you- words with no meaning. You saw that he only cared about himself and the other woman. You saw that you have no place in his life and possibly never will. You saw that you can not continue to put your life on hold, your love on standby, and your feelings on not today. You saw that - you saw that- now take what you saw and drop it in your lessons learned box.

The next time, if there is such a time, when he begins to say - STOP him in his tracks, and you say, love is more than an emotion; it is an emotion that compels a person to act on the behalf of another. Your actions towards me have shown me that I am not the receiver of your love; therefore, I can not reciprocate what I haven't received. In other words, I don't love you, it's over!

To Understand Me

To understand me is to spend time with me so you can learn who I really am. To understand me is to share some of my most intimate moments, my hurtful pains, be it emotional, physical or spiritual. To understand me is to become actively engaged in my life and in the lives of my children. To understand me is to talk with me as much as you can or as much as your day would allow so you could get to know my thought pattern, my concerns, my desires, my goals, my plans, my ups and my downs. To understand me is to walk with me, to support me, to inspire me, to lead me if necessary and to teach me what I need to know, if you can. To understand me is to know that I want total honesty from you and I will give to you likewise. To understand me is to allow me to love you and to share my goodness with.

What is your love number?

Here you go again, "I'm not going to call him. I'm not going to put up with your BS. It's over! I don't want to see you again." Here you go again, " I still love you. I want to be with you. Don't leave me." Here you go again, "I'm through with you this time. Don't bother to call me. I will never step foot in this car again." Sounds familiar? How many times will you bounce back and forth? Is it really about the number of times? What is your love number? What is the magical number, if there is such a thing, when you will decide that you have had enough, or when you decided that you just love the man and don't want to live without him, regardless? What is your love number? Whatever the number may be, it only matters to you. Whether it is 1 time or 20 times or more than you want to admit times, it is your love number. The number of times you will break it off and patch it up, break away and come back. The key thing to remember is that it is a good thing to be in love and to be loved. So take a deep breath and count your blessings that you have someone to share your life with and to increase you numbers.

Early Morning Love

I don't know about you, but there is nothing better than early in the morning love. You body has rested from the day before. Your mind is clear. You're already in a slumbering and silky mood. You turn over to your mate and begin to rub his chest. He responds. Wow - look out. Or let's say you just got up around 5:00 am to take your morning shower. You enter into the bedroom and see him lying there. It's a cool crisp fall morning, you slip back in the bed and the warmth of his body soften yours. Wow - look out. What about the early in morning love when the moon is in full bloom. You pull back the curtains and the light from the moon pierces the room just enough to give you that low shimmering glow. You snuggle up close to your man, rub his chest and he responds. Wow-look out. Early morning love - Wow - look out!.

Waitiing In Vain

He said that he was going to call you, but he didn't. He said that he was going to come by tonight, but he didn't. She said that she would meet you there, but she didn't. She said that she would see you tomorrow, but she didn't. Over and over again, you have been promised something from your ""mate" but it didn't materialize. Over and over again, you sit by the phone. You pass up other outings and if you go, you constantly check your cell for that phone call - that was never made. Why do we put ourselves through this? Why do continue to wait in vain? Why do we continue to hope for a different results? We wait and wait. We hope and hope. We wish and wish. We want and want what the other person does not want.

Listen up all of you waiting in vainers - get on with your life. I know how hard it can be, cause I've been there done that. And believe me all you are going to get is more disappointments and more promises that are never delivered. Sometimes you'll get a surprise, that is, they will show up - late and in a hurry.

If the words of your mate can't be trusted, you need to reconsider your relationship. You need to really be hard core and decide to move on. How long have you waited? Count the days, the hours, the times and what have been the excuses? Another lame excuse. Another lack of consideration, love and care for you. Make a decision to cease and desist this annoying behavior - turn the lights out on the relationship (oh by the way, you're in the relationship alone any). Once the lights are turned off, undress, de-stress, slip on a new attitude about yourself, turn on your internal lights, glow and go find the love that you deserve.

Baby Girl or Baby Boy - It is time to move on

We all are full aware of what we want in a mate. And if you don't know, you should write down your wants. For real. You should write down the age range; the educational requirments; the parenthood status; the socio-economic level; the intellectual level; the common straits; the physical straits; your faith preference; their ability to socialize in various circles and other wants and desires that you deem important.

Now why should we do this? Well for starters, too many times we engage ourselves in relationships (over and over again) that do not meet or fit our hierarchy of needs. Sure from the beginning it was great, but it suppose to be 'cause it is all new and fresh. But as you progress forward, the real relationship will begin to suffer or succumb to the real issues of life, but what was the resolve? Did you work it out? Or did you just cave in and accepeted what the verdict was? Because we don't want to be alone we will continue to remain in a relationship that isn't meant for us.

Babygirl or babyboy, if you are in a relationship and it's not working - you have got to move on. If you are in a relationship and your needs are not being met, it is time to move on. Let's just call it like we see it. That's why it is important to write down what you desire or your needs. Don't continue to waste your precious time in a relationship that is going nowhere, vertically or horizontally. Baby girl or baby boy - Move on.

If You Decide To Leave, Don't Go Back!

What would you do if you found out that your mate of several years had been cheating on you? Would you leave? What if you left and over the next weeks, he or she begged you to stay, would you come back? What if your mate never spend time with you and your family (children), but always have time for other people? Would you leave? What would you do if your mate didn't touch bases with you before weekends to see if you wanted to do something and most of the time (45 weekends out of 52 in a calendar year) you were home alone or attending social or family events without him or her? Would you leave? If you look back at the questions, it is apparent that the two of you really don't have a relationship. It takes two people to be if not equally, somewhat equally involved or engaged in the other person's life to technically call it a relationship. In other words, you are the one in a relation with someone else who does not want to be on the ship!

So ladies and gents, if you decided to leave a relationship for a good cause, don't go back! You've heard the saying that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well first, you are not trying to teach anyone anything. Somethings are automatic if that person is truly in love with you. He or she will only be with you and not sleep around with other people. There is no trick here to be learned. Either your mate is an honest and decent person or he/she isn't. Secondly, if a person loves you, he or she will want to spend time with you, your children and mom and dad as well. They would want to share family events together. No tricks here! Who ever heard of a couple only spending 7 out of 52 weekends doing something together or some other low number? Come on - This is not a trick either. The person just doesn't value you and does not want to be with you either.

So I will repeat again, if you leave your mate for a "good cause", DON'T GO BACK. 45 weekends is a lot of time to waste on a fraction of a relationship waiting!