STALEMATE

When you first meet someone, there is so much excitement and anticipation. Now I am talking about someone that you are really interested in. Anyway, you call your girls and tell them all about him. He has good conversation, good looking, pays you a lot of attention and he calls every night. After a couple of weeks have gone by, you're still in the newness of the relationship. But then you begin to realize that the two of are not that compatible. The conversation is somewhat redundant and damn right boring. You say to yourself, he is a good man. He is attentive, has picked up the tab for all of your dinners, but your conversation is stale. What do you do? Do you keep seeing the man knowing that you are bored as hell? Or do you STOP DROP AND ROLL to a new adventure?

If you are bored with him now, it will intensify later. You will be starved for mind stimulation - good conversation, talk, dialogue....so let the man go for good cause and by all means - STOP SEEING HIM, DROP HIS NUMBER TO THE BACK LIST ON YOUR CELL AND DO, I MEAN DO ROLL ON TO ANOTHER ADVENTURE.

And what ever you do, don't give up the cookies, cause if you do, then you may be stuck with your STALEMATE!

Should You Take Him Back?

It is truly amazing how time heals broken hearts, crushed dreams and the dreadful want to hate, (but of course you don't, at least I hope you don't). You've finally gotten yourself together. He no longer invades your days, your dreams or your thoughts. The memory of him is just that - a memory. Then on a late night, you get this knock on your door or a call on your cell, IT IS HE - THE MEMORY - wanting to talk, wanting to come by, wanting to pick up what HE DROPPED! You listen to his story. You learned that the "other woman" left him. You hear that he was a fool for letting you go. You are urged to give him another chance. And of course, you hear that he still loves you. SHOULD YOU TAKE HIM BACK? SHOULD YOU GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE? CAN YOU EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN? These questions run through your mind over and over again. You play out the what ifs. You are desperately trying to make the best decision.


THE ANSWER - WHY SHOULD YOU? I know you can't answer a question with a question. But in this situation, you better!

BE MINE!

I was traveling down memory lane and stop by the "Be Mine" road. I can recall all of my "boyfriends" when I was a teenager, in college and as a young adult. Now all doesn't mean that I had too many, but I did have my share (smile). I remember those Valentine days and nights. How I was so eager to see him. How I desparately wanted to be with him on the "V" Day.
If for reason we did not see each other that day, it was over! Do you feel me? Be Mine - how sweet is was back then.

Now as a mature woman, why isn't the "V" Day not that important? Is it that I'm not in love? Is it because I've had my share of candy, cards, flowers, jewelry or dinner? Is it because he hasn't made that type of impression upon me or I haven't impressed him? Where in the "H" is romance these days?

Be Mine - Be Mine - Be Mine - What a wonderful way to say I love you - just Be MINE!

So the question is, who will you BE MINE to on February 14th?

TLC in 2009!

With 2009 just around the corner - are you ready for some TLC? OK ladies and gents, we have almost completed 2008. Lessons learned, heartaches healed, at least for some of us, is it time to thrust ourselves into the arms of a loving man or woman? You know that kind of man or woman that has been around all along while you were hurt, bruised, ignored and not cared for.

For the ladies -You know that man that held you close and patted you gently on your back as you cried over your break up. The one that knows how to cheer you up and would come over with your favorite ice cream. The man that will look you straight in your eyes, hold your face so ever tender and lay a soft kiss on your forehead, each of your cheeks, and your nose and just brush his mouth on yours.

For the gents - that woman that told you that you deserve better when you found out that your lady was kicking with another man. The woman who grabbed your hand, raised it to her mouth and place a warm kiss on it before she left you and said, "I'll call you in the morning to check on you." The woman who inspires you, laughs with you and believes in you. The woman who will look into your eyes and marvel at your masculinity and passion.

So I ask the question again, in 2009 - Are you ready for some loving so ever tender?

Who cares what the people might say - I say go for it - it is your time!

The Comfort of a Woman

Why do so many of us women find ourselves again at the end of the year without a man? All year long, you have waited, wanted and needed, but nothing seem to materialize beyond the casual date, movies, a couple of dinners and phone calls. Even though we may not be ready for the alter, we surely want to feel like he is. Now some of you may be thinking, well this is double standards - not really. You see women want the man to be aggressive. Tell us that you are ready for marriage and let us think it over. Give us plenty attention throughout the year and on those special days, surprise the "H" out of us. Who can say no to such a treat?

Here comes the double talk------

So I ask the question again, why do so many of us women find ourselves again at the end of the year without a man? Is it because we haven't been true to our feelings? Could it be that haven't closed those other love chapters? In order for a man to becomes yours, he needs to know that you are his. Don't be vague about what you want. Women, if you want the comfort of a man, then you have to give him the comfort of a woman.

What's In It For Me?

OK - so you been around awhile. You and he have spent countless hours together. You talk on the phone several times a day. You've met his folks and some of his friends. He has meet your family and your close friends. But for some reason, something is missing or should I say - Not Happening! What's in it for me? You've asked yourself many times over. Is it that he is not your type and just a fill in? Is it that he doesn't push all of your buttons? Or could it be that you are not ready for the steady? Is it that you are looking for something else or you're not looking at all? Whatever it is be darn sure you know before you go. You don't want to make the move too quickly and later realize that HE WAS FOR YOU.

One Year - Now What?

So you've made that full cycle. What has your experience been? You are still talking many times a day, or have you dwindled down? Are you still just as eager to see him or her, or are you dodging the weekends? Is he getting on your nerves? Does she have an annoying habit? Do you kiss each other upon each greeting? Do you hold her hand tenderly? Do you still open the door for her, or is it every man/woman for his self? Does she cook you those delicious meals, or is it to each his own? If you are here, you may want to think again.

Are totally in love and helplessly hers or his? Do you have sleepless nights because he or she isn't there? Do you plan your week around him or her activities? Do you buy him special small gifts? Does he take you to the best dining places in town? Do the two of you communicate with each other, laugh a lot and really enjoy each other's company? If you are here- keep it going!

Cheaters Part 3

Some people say it's best to stay together for the children. Give me a break. When someone is cheating, many times the children are fully aware and hurt as much as the non-cheating parent. Children experience trauma and can actually black out memories. My dad and mother were married for 50 plus years, and yes he had his share of women. Many times I just wanted him to go away and never return. There were seven of us, so my mom, hung in there. But trust me, we all wanted to have peace and I desperately wanted my mom to be happy.

So those of you who are cheating, think about how your behavior affects your children, if you have children. Think of how those children are ashamed, sad and hurt because their mother or daddy is hurt. Think of how your actions will affect their lives as adults - later in life. You know, the Bible says, "You reap what you sow". So don't sow bad seeds for your children to possibly reap one day.

LOVE WHILE YOU CAN!!

Don't be too busy that you miss out on love. You know - you're doing this, running here, and taking care of that. Before you know it, you are a certain age and friendless. Wow what a rude awakening. I was listening to a motivational tape the other day and the speaker said, "Sure you should go after a better life for yourself and family. You should pursue the finer things in life, but not at the expense of your relationships, be it family, wife, friends, or significant other." So you see my friends-there will always be a challenge on how to distribute your time. So chose wisely.

If you are in sales, plug in family appointment times in your calender, PDA or whatever planning tool you use. Take your wife or hubby on a date. Skip a weekend and take a short trip. Take time to love. There are many people in the hospital, in hospice, in the WAR, in jail, who just wished that had spent more time, or could spend some time right now loving and nurturing those relationships. So - LOVE WHILE YOU CAN and HAVE FUN DOING IT!

Cheaters "Ole School - New School"- Part 2

The old school way, the phone rings, you pick up, then you hear a dial tone. The phone rings again, you pick, and again you hear a dial tone.

The new school way - he or she call or text the cell. Cell phones and e-mails have really made it convenient for cheaters to communicate. A cell phone is usually carried and answered by the holder or owner of the phone. Let's take a deeper look at in. Who carries and answers your children's cell phones? They do, not you. Who answers and carries your husband or wife cell? He or she does. So with new technology and password protection, a husband or wife could have another life without you every knowing it, unless you are studying their habits.

Thank you cell phones for creating a secured communications between and for cheaters. What is a committed partner to do? Answers coming soon.
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